Dear Cooper

Dear Cooper,

I love you.  We have been struggling over the past two weeks or so.  You in terms of behavior and me with my patience for said behavior.  We just were not able to get to a good place.  But we're working on it.  

I should clarify that you haven't been necessarily disobedient.  It's just taken one too many reminders to do every day things;  there's been a lot more attitude lately and a little more fighting with your sister.   I wasn't sure why the sudden shift in your mood until it hit me smack in the face earlier this week.  

I have spent a lot of time and effort over the past month getting McKenna mentally and physically ready for sixth grade.  I'm driving her to school now while you are still riding the elementary bus.   She's had orientations and trips for extra supplies.  There have been lots of conversations about sixth grade.   There has also been a lot of talk about Kinley going back to daycare and  her recent birthday.   She's had her fair share of the spotlight.   And then there is you, my kind hearted middle child.  You have happily spent so much time with daddy this summer and I have been excited for the bond you share. But even I have felt a little left out from time to time.  I can imagine maybe you have felt the same and perhaps that is how we got to this point. 

I have been making extra efforts to spend time with you.   This week we had some time at the playground, just us.  We ran around and completed the mazes and the scavenger hunt. 

Last night I participated in the wiffle ball game instead of watching. And I loved it. I've missed you and I'm sorry.   I'm sorry for taking your laid back nature for granted. I'm sorry for assuming that you would rather hang out with daddy than your silly mom.   I'm sorry for not being more in tune with you.  

Tonight we sat in your room and counted the money from your piggy banks.   We had a nice talk about school and sports and saving money.    I think we are both feeling a little better.  

I promise to try harder going forward. My prayer is that we will always be close and that you always know how very much I love you. 

Love, Mom

I Will Survive

As of this writing we have successfully survived the first three days of school.   I will admit to a few very early mornings/sleepless nights that I devoted to worrying.  This year holds a lot of unknowns, new schools, new routines, etc., etc. and so I felt it my duty to obsess over them a little.   Regardless, these three cuties were up and ready to go on the first day.   (Well, Cooper wasn't exactly moving fast that morning....but he made it in time for the obligatory pictures.)

Who are these three, really?  I scarcely recognize these fast growing kids.  And surely I am not old enough to have a sixth grader?  They are way too cute for me to deny them though, so I guess I must embrace the times and go with it.

McKenna in middle school has seemed a smooth transition thus far.  Unless you're talking about the carpool and then perhaps it gets a bit more complicated.    In an effort to shelter her maybe a little longer I have decided not to put her on the bus with high school seniors.  Lucky for me, my neighbors have jumped on that bandwagon and we now have an elaborate carpool system that means I only have to drive a couple of days a week.   Sounds simple until the part where I tell you that when I pick Jimmy up, I drop Cooper off to spend 1/2 hour at the Bailey's until the bus comes so that I can drop Kinley off at daycare.  Or the days where Jessica drives and I text Kara to make sure she meets us at the bus ....anyway, you get the point...What's that saying again, "It takes a village?"     Thank god for my village.

Cooper came home the first day grinning from ear to ear.  He has some great kids in his class, really likes the teacher and is comfortable being back at school.   He's already back to reading with enthusiasm after a summer where it was a struggle to get him to read the 10 required books.   I don't know what this new teacher is doing already but it sure is working.

Little Miss Kinley had a wonderful welcoming back at daycare.  Before we could get in the room the kids were shouting, "Kinley's back, Kinley's."  It was such a blessing that they welcomed her in that way.  She hesistated for approximately .005 seconds when it was time for me to leave and then she was off to play, happily reunited with her friends.

As for me, I spent the day catching up with my friends, getting my hair done, cooking, and beginning to establish my "work at home" routine in preparation for my classes to start.   I still hate to see the summer weather end but I'll be honest that I saw pumpkins and Penn State football at Wal-Mart today and my heart did a tiny happy dance.   So, onward we go!

An Early Morning Letter

Dear McKenna, Cooper and Kinley,

I've been up since 4:10am, lying here restless. I woke up with a sore throat but I stay awake with a racing heart.  Today is our last day of summer vacation.  On Wednesday you head back to school and before I know it you will be older and wiser and farther away from me.   At the same time I celebrate your birthday's, your success, your moving forward, I mourn the loss of our innocent and carefree days together.  As much as I love to hear you play the flute and run on the soccer field I selfishly miss the days where our lives revolved around stacking blocks and Mickey Mouse.  

I am so acutely aware that I will never have another summer like this.   One filled to the brim with family vacations and  time poolside.   Of course we will plan those things next summer.  But I will never again have 3 year old Kinley, 8 year old Cooper and 11 year old McKenna back.  That summer is memories now.  Great ones, I hope, clustered with the years of summer memories that have come before.  

Gosh how I coveted this time together the past few months.  The four of us, driving one another crazy, spending literally all of our days together.   Complain as I might from time to time, you are my favorite people in the whole world and I feel so, so blessed to have had this time with you.   

Tomorrow starts a new chapter for all of us.  A lot is changing, from new schools to new teachers, new carpools, new schedules, new careers. It is a scarey and exciting time and honestly, I don't even think we have taken the time to worry over it or figure it out yet.   For once we are trusting that this crazy life is gong to fall into place.  

One thing I know for sure is that even if we aren't together every moment, you are never off of my mind. I think of all of you simultaneously all day.   You are an extension of me and so my thoughts and my love are always with you.   

Great things lie ahead for us, of that I am also sure. I know because we have each other and an amazing bond.   I love you all so much.   

Love, Mom