Trusting

I woke to her coughing at 4a.m. and my heart began to race almost instantly.  She can't get sick.  She can't be sick.  She has her dental procedure scheduled for just over 24 hours from now.   I repeatedly told the anesthesiologist that, no, she was not sick.  So she can't be getting sick now.  Not this girl with the "touchy airway", who gets croup at the drop of a hat.   Anytime but now. 

I get her a small drink of water and settle her back to bed.  She snuggles in and is asleep in no time.  I wish I could say the same for me.  I am wide awake with worry.  And though I turn to prayer the other part of my multi-tasking female brain is churning.  Kinley needs this work done and we chose to have it done under anesthesia.  Our kids have had various procedures in the past requiring anesthesia and we haven't really blinked an eye.   Not out of ignorance but because we are fairly familiar and comfortable with the routine.  But the closer we get and the more everyone wants to know about her reactive airway, the more nervous I become.  Maybe I should be paying attention to all these discussions in the form of, "perhaps I shouldn't let this occur."    I pray and try to keep my anxiety in check even though my training has taught me to think in worst case scenarios and my gene pool doesn't do a whole lot to counter that.  This trusting business is hard work but I am trying with all my might.   

For her part, Kinley will be blissfully unaware of pretty much everything that will happen.  She's excited to wear the new pajamas I bought just for the occasion.  I know I should follow her lead and my faith that things will go just fine. 

Fill Your Life

I was twelve years old during the summer that the Berlin Wall came down and I made my first trip out of the country.  That summer, my parents put me on a plane (seriously, another world altogether back then) bound for Germany where my best friend and her family were living.    I spent the better part of three weeks hanging out with Liz and touring Germany with her mom and sister.  The soundtrack for that particular road trip?  None other than Garth Brooks.  I am probably the only person ever to leave the US of A and come back a full fledge country music fan but I was hooked.  

My mom was skeptical at best but before you could say "yeeh ha" we were blasting "Thunder Rolls" at obscene levels just because the fake thunder made Kyle cry and Shane and I thought that was hilarious.   I suppose those reasons alone made spending Saturday evening at the Garth Brooks concert so special.  Sharing it with my almost twelve year old and my family.  

There were about six different points when I thought that McKenna and I weren't going to actually make it.  But God works in wonderful ways and definitely worked this one out for us.  

Uncle Shane upgraded our tickets as an early birthday gift for McKenna.  Floor seats, fifteen rows back.  Pretty amazing. 

It's been a long time since I attended a concert with my mom and I'm fairly certain the first time my dad and I have been in the same venue for anything past a high school band concert.  It was fun to experience Garth with them.  

God bless Mckenna, she didn't know the words to any of the songs which is about right since the songs were popular long before she was born.  She said it didn't matter because I knew ALL the words.  True story.   We were both on our feet and all smiles through the entire concert. Girl has stamina! 

I think the thing that struck me most was when Garth commented on the fact that these songs are woven through our lives.  That summed up the entire experience.  Each of the songs he sang had a different memory for me : Germany, Kyle, college, my friend Jen, break-ups, blessings, Earl, road trips,  weddings, my mom and my kids.   Nothing takes you back to certain places in time like music and it was such a rush to remember all of those special times set to music I have always loved. 

On Sunday morning Shane posted some photos of all of us at the concert accompanied by the following quote: "Fill your life with experiences, not things.  Have stories to tell, not stuff to show." I have read that quote no less than a million and one times since Sunday morning.  I can't get it out of my head.  My brother isn't perfect, none of us are.  But if there is one thing that he gets right, it's making memories.   This is one memory all of us will likely never forget.   And who could bring us together like for a night of music and family...only Garth Brooks.

Cuddled Up

Storms and tornado watches in the forcast tonight mean we are all snuggled up together.  

I don't know why but it melts my heart to see them all lined up together.  Goodnight all.  

Taking It Outside

I've been making a huge effort over the past year to get fit.  I've changed the way I eat and what I eat, added some supplements and recently started a new workout routine.   Seven mornings a week, 21 days straight.   I love it so much that I'm on my fourth round.   

Today I decided to take the show on the road so to speak.  It was so beautiful outside and Kinley and I had nothing planned.  We hit the local rail trail for a walk/run.   

We walked out, watching for birds and squirrels and other wild life.   I took an opportunity to run on the way back.   I was shocked at how well I actually did.   I am not supposed to run regularly because of my previous back surgery but I sometimes really miss it.  Like today.   

Kinley apparently enjoyed herself.   I wondered why she was so quiet.   I think she liked the run too.  I definitely think we will be hitting the trail on a regular basis this spring.  Today was awesome. 

Moving On

After a few days of being under the weather we are back and maybe better than ever.  Perhaps we all needed a few days on the couch.   We could have done without the puking, laundry and general loss of appetite though. 

But I digress.

Kinley has had a big week.  Though she doesn't turn four until August, the daycare chose to move her a little early to a newly created four year old class.  I was neither expecting this move or emotionally prepared.  Kinley, however, was very excited!

We brought a donut treat for her last day as a Ladybug.  

And on Monday morning she announced that she was ready to be a cricket.  I anticipated tears and extra hugs but I figured they would be her tears and not mine.   Kinley was thrilled to be in a new room and barely hesitated when I left.  That made me both happy and sad all at once.  More than once she stated that she was growing up and I can't deny it, can I?  

So, now that I'm mostly used to the idea, I can see how much she is benefitting from this change.  She is one of only  5 in the class and I couldn't ask for a better scenario.   

Today was a day full of appointments and paperwork in preparation for her upcoming dental procedure.  She seems to be following in Cooper's footsteps as far as teeth are concerned.  She was such a trooper but ultimately took a well deserved nap on the way home this afternoon.   I actually ended up taking a nice little drive in the country so that she could sleep just a few minutes longer. 

So, here we are, moving forward and in all directions it seems sometimes. 

The Wind Down

Well, here it is, nearly 10pm and everyone in the house is asleep except for me.  I'm wide awake as I curl up

Under my covers.   

I've been working 12hiir shifts my entire career.  I like them.   I get a lot done.   I feel a sense of accomplishment.   But they do not lend themselves well to coming home at 8pm and crawling into bed.   And actually sleeping.   I just cannot wind down that quickly.   

So here I am, my mind still spinning, wondering if I didn't all I needed to and documented it in all the right places. Wondering if my patients are tucked in for the night and doing well.   Mentally going through my to do list for the morning and setting multiple alarms to get me up for my workout before the kids stir.   Scouring Pinterest for meal ideas for later in the week and for year end teacher presents.   Feeling sad because Brigit is graduating and leaving us soon and, if, I need to book the rest of our Florida vacation....

Yep, I don't think sleep is in the cards tonight.  Physically I'm drained but my brain apparently is still very much 

awake....

And even more so now that it's 12:57am I had a lovely two hours of sleep before number three child called for me to come sleep with her.    Here we are back to square one!   Blah!

Happy Easter

Sunday has come!   Happy Easter!

Definitely A Good Friday

The kids were off school for a few days in observance of Easter.   On Friday we decided to shop since the weather was rainy.   Shopping is hard work and so we made a lunch stop at Cracker Barrel.  You'll always hear me say that I hate how they are growing up - especially so fast.  But it's days like this that make me acutely aware of the wonderful times that are still ahead.  We had a lunch with no crying, no bathroom trips and everyone ate.  There was conversation and laughing and even manners.  It was good.

We came home with the start of a spring wardrobe for each of the kids. I fear that this is a year where no one can wear any of their clothes from last year.   They are growing but my wallet is shrinking.

There was no rest for the weary (that's me) once we arrived home.  The kids were eager to color eggs and I suppose we had waited long enough.

Each year the egg dying process becomes a little less hazardous.   We lost two eggs this year but we did not have to clean up any dye which I count as a win.

After the eggs were all finished and safely tucked back in the fridge to await the bunny, we snuggled up and watched the last half hour of a movie detailing how Jesus died.  The kids were so into it and it brought an opportunity to enforce what they have learned in church and Sunday school.

Cooper had made this cross on Minecraft wed mess afternoon and then insisted we send it to his Sunday school teachers.  If I'm not mistaken, there is an empty tomb that accompanies this now.  It's good to know that what they are learning is sinking in or at least on their minds.  

Today was a good Friday...but Sunday is coming.

Happy Un-Birthday

Having a birthday in the middle of the summer has distinct advantages.  Pool parties, amusement park trips,  no bad weather to spoil your fun.   But having a summer birthday has one disadvantage - no school birthday treat.   We have historically made our way around that by having Cooper take a birthday treat as close to the end of school as possible.   This year we decided to change it up a bit and do it on April 1st.   No joke.  

Cooper had a fantastic day, wearing his birthday hat and passing out his treats.   His teachers went all in, providing the coveted erasers, bookmarks and stickers that are given out on birthdays.  

So, happy "un birthday" Buddy!!   I'm secretly very glad that you're not 8 yet.  (I need a little longer to get used to the idea     )