The Long "See You Later"

This morning as I was drying my hair I thought to myself, "This Sucks". Not drying my hair, but the mornings that I have to take the kids to the babysitter and daycare and then miraculously get myself to work, all in a timely manner. It sucks. I started to think about how I much preferred the "old days" when I dropped both kids off at daycare. I had a routine, a big bag, two lunch boxes, two nap mats, two lovey's, a bazillion extra sippy cups, and my two kiddos. I had a routine for who I got out of the carseat first, how we handled rainy days and bitter cold mornings. I knew who's lunch to put away first, how to get them set up with their breakfast in record time and how to get down the long hallway quickly on days that tears were brimming in my eyes. And most mornings as I sprinted back to my car to get to work on time, I thought to myself, "this sucks".

So, the more I thought about this morning I started to think that perhaps it's not my new routine and two drop off's that the problem. McKenna carries her own backpack now, complete with everything she needs for the entire day. I don't have to set her up with breakfast because the babysitter does that now. And she likes it there. What kid wouldn't like hanging out with a second grader and playing Mario Cart in the morning before school?

With McKenna settled at the babysitter I don't need my big bag for daycare anymore. I only need to worry about putting lunch away in one refrigerator and getting one cute little boy set up for lunch. The kicker is that from the time I drop McKenna off until the time we get to daycare I have to listen to Cooper ask where his sister is....over and over and over and over again. It almost kills me. I loved that at daycare they were together. Not that they were physically together all day, but they were together in the same building when I left every morning. For some reason that did my heart some good and eased our separation just a bit. It's hard to think that depending on when Cooper is ready for kindergarten, they may never be in the same building again.

But I think what this all comes down to when I really stop and sort it out is the "see you later's". It's hard enough to have someone else care for your kids during the day - at least for me. I have a great job (most days) where I have the opportunity to touch many people and positively affect many lives. But that still means that someone else is watching over my kids. Please make no mistake that I love the people that are looking after my kids. They have become like family - I've said that here before. The fact is, that even after 4 years the hand-off has not really become any easier. And now I find myself saying "see you later" not once, but two times every time I have to venture off to work. I have to face it two times in 20 minutes. That, is really what sucks.

The great part is that if I never left them I would never, ever have the chance to get such awesome hello hugs and kisses at the end of the day.