One Last Time

Dear McKenna and Cooper,

Tomorrow is a day we've had circled on the calendar for months - we are going on a family trip to the beach. You are both SO excited that I'm not quite sure you'll ever get to sleep tonight. It's fun for me to see your anticipation and listen as you make plans for the things you want to do while we're away.

For me, this trip is another sort of marker. This week will be our last vacation as a family of four. Next year everything will look different. Not different in a bad way. But different. We will have another little girl - we will be a family of 5.

I'm not sure why welcoming another baby into our family is always met with a little trepidation at first. It is always wonderful and there is always plenty of love to go around. But it is a fact of life that as much as I want you to have another sibling, I also feel bad about changing your life so much by bringing another baby home. I know that you'll hardly notice and that if you do you will forget by the time you're a teenager. However, as your mom I will always remember this vacation as our last as time together as our little family of four.

I hope that for you it will be just another family vacation. And I hope that you're just as excited to introduce your new sister to the sun and sand.

When we return next week it will be time to get serious about preparing for your sister to arrive. It will probably be the end of our overnight trips and the beginning of a considerable amount of time close to home. I'm not sure you'll notice or be phased by the slower pace. You've been content to be at home many times this summer. I'll never be able to begin to explain to you what this summer with you has meant to me. I absolutely love waking up each day and not having to dash out of the house. I love our picnic lunches and our late nights catching lightening bugs. I love being able to say "yes" to spur of the moment trips to the park or to get ice cream. I love that the three of us have been together every single day. I will forever cherish this time and remember it fondly. You both have been a tremendous help to me, you've been patient with me and you've played well with one another. One of my greatest joys is to watch the way you interact with one another, play together, talk, help eachother and most of all just have fun.

And so, I'm not sure even I will be able to get any sleep tonight. I'm excited to watch you at the beach running in the sand and waves, playing with your cousin, laughing with Daddy, Pappy and Mom-mom. Making memories.

I love you!