The "Lasts"

I distinctly remember a conversation with a co-worker when McKenna was about 2 years old.   I was missing her "babyness" as we discussed all the firsts you experience with having a baby.   While I appreciate all the "firsts" it is the "lasts" that I wished I had remembered.   I wished that someone would have tapped me on the shoulder the day I fed her that very last bottle.   I'm sure it was probably some hurried affair where I barely payed attention while she quickly downed her milk.   I wish I would have savored that moment so that I could always remember what it felt like to hold her in my arms and look in her eyes while she quietly had a feeding.  I wish someone would have pointed out to me the last time I was able to carry a sleeping Cooper up to bed.  I wish that night was emblazoned in my memory. 

Looking back now I suppose that's what having your first baby is about.   You celebrate all the firsts and relish the milestones,  intent on achieving the next one.  And there is nothing wrong with that.   To me, second babies are more about enjoying everything and having so much fun.   Gone are the days that you worry about them reaching milestones.  You just kind of sit back and watch, knowing from your "experience" that they will get there as you try your hardest not to compare them to the firstborn.

It took me until my third baby to really pay attention to the "lasts".   I have loved watching her do new things, especially because I get to enjoy sharing them with McKenna and Cooper.   Sometimes I think they get more excited than I do when they see Kinley do something for the first time.   I confidently smile, my experience reminding me that she will progress at her pace and I need not worry.    My experience also reminds me to pay attention to the "lasts".   She is my last baby and I am living these days as mom of a toddler for the last time.  

This past week we transitioned Kinley from her baby carseat carrier to a bigger, convertible carseat.  It was definitely time, as evidenced by the fact that we had to stuff her and her puffy winter coat into the seat.    Part of me was ready to move on.  Ready to part with the seat and see her move to the next stage.   But I made sure to remember the "last" time she used that carefully chosen piece of baby gear that went so many places with us and holds special memories.

 

 

Kinley's first time in her carrier as we left the hospital when she was three days old.

 

And her last time in the seat as we left to meet the Dugan's for an evening out.   This picture cracks me up.   Comparing the two shots definitely illustrates the different seasons in our lives over the past nearly year and a half.    Peaceful little baby Kinley as we were leaving the hospital - clothes perfectly chosen for the occasion, seat buckles carefully placed.    And then fast forward to last Friday night - her hat half covering her eyes, the funny look on her face and the buckle covers askew.

It's not a great picture, but I'm so glad I remembered to take it.   I'm glad I have each of these memories preserved.   I'm not particularly embracing the fact that I'm done with most things baby.   It's not really even the "things" but the instead what they symbolize.   A growing baby.  A baby who doesn't call me "mama" any longer but instead screams "Mommy".   A baby who prefers a thermos with a straw over a bottle or sippy cup.   A baby who runs to the stairs when you say its time for bed.  No, it's not about the carseat.   But I'm glad I took a little moment to snap some pictures and remind myself of how far we've come and the sweet time we've had along the way.   It's nice to remember the "firsts" and the "lasts".   Love you sweet girl!