I Wonder If They Know

I intended on being asleep almost an hour ago.  After 10 hours at the hospital with my clinical group I am tired.   My feet hurt and my eyes are heavy but I can't get them off my mind.   The little girl whose fever spiked just as our shift ended.  Her bright red cheeks and nervous father keep crossing my mind.  The baby, all alone, facing surgery in the morning.  The child with the long list of medical problems who smiles and asks for his one guilty pleasure - root beer. I wonder if they know how much they inspire me.  I wonder if they know how helpless I sometimes feel, wishing I could do more for them.  I wonder if they know how much I wish they had a mom and dad to love them all night long.   I wonder if they know that they keep me up at night.  I wonder if they know that I linger a little longer in the doorway when I tuck my kids in a night.  Sometimes I wonder how we do this.   Then I wonder how could we not?