I can't quite wrap my mind around the fact that ten years with McKenna have passed already. Ten years. She asked me yesterday while we were birthday shopping at the mall what I would wish for if I had just one wish. The only thing that came to my mind is that I would go back to the day of her birth and do it all over again. The past ten year. Not to change anything or do a multitude of things differently. I know that even if given a second chance I would fail her many times just as I have in the past. But simply to experience it all one more time. That would be my wish. To go back and repeat that day where my heart swelled a billion sizes and I ceased put myself first in any situation ever again. The day that my life became infinitely complicated and eternally joyful all in the same moment.
McKenna,
I don't even know where to start or how to put into words how very much I love you. I told you tonight that you will always be my baby and you will always be the special little girl who made me a mom. As much as I hate the fact that you're growing up so fast, I love the young woman you are becoming. You are smart, and beautiful, conscientious, helpful, and you have a heart so big it makes mine almost burst with pride. You have the unique ability to make people feel so special. It's amazing to watch.
As I watch you and listen to you interact with Cooper and Kinley, I know that someday you will be an amazing mom. You have such patience with Kinley and she absolutely thinks you hung the moon. I'm proud that the sibling arguments and fighting between you and Cooper are few and far between. I pray that you will always have a wonderful, close relationship with him.
I pray that you and I will always have a close relationship too. We will have to work at it, as you have to do with any relationship worth having. But ultimately, I will want to spend lots of time with you and I hope you feel the same way about me. I realize that in these important growing years I have to let you go a little bit. That will be hard for me too. I hope you can find it in you to be patient with me, just as you are with Kinley. Because while I rely on you more and more to help me or assume more responsibility, in my heart you are still the little baby pictured above and it is my job to protect you.
I know that the next ten years will fly by just as quickly as these first ten. But for today, for today I wish you the most wonderful 10th birthday. I pray that today and every day you will feel loved and cherished and you will know that you are one of the most precious gifts of my life.
Happy Birthday!
Love, Mommy
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